Takdir

Dear Diary...
Maybe apa yang jadi adalah takdir..
n he never thinks i'm important for him cause obviously, he's happy without me..
kadang2 rasa penat untuk saket hati dan makan hati..bagitau laa betapa juta kali pon yang benda uh kita tak suka, tapi dia tetap akan buat..n if dia yang tak suka benda uh, it means straight NO

Try to understand me..
Is it so hard to have just me in your life? is it necessary to have others in your life??
I dun have others in my life..i dun have other guys who text me to update on everything,...sending mms..sending sms in the middle of night, during work hours..no..i dont have that...
Do you want me to have some??Do you love it if you find other guys text, with cute mms, with update the things we both like, huha sana sini...do you want me to have that?do you like it if I put picture of sexy guy on wallpaper?do you like it if I worshipped other guy??do you like it??cause I dont!..dont do this to me..i've told you millions time and i've been crying for only-God-knows-how-much litres of tears over that..
My heart is fragile..may be u didnt care...n maybe i shouldnt care either cause u didnt give a damn bout me..
maybe you love seeing me getting hurt after wut i've done to you..
it's okay..if it is a punishment for me, then FINE..i'll go away from your life..

n I'm not sure what to hold into anymore..should i put more trust in u?
i trust u..but the thoughts of third or fourth party just seem not right...
sorry for not making u happy..n sorry for not being an understanding person for u..
gez wut, maybe u dun even want me anymore..takpelaa..i'll take that as lesson..I'll cherish the memories of 7years++ together..hope u're happy with them as I can never make u as happy..